Backlash and disagreement are typical reasons you may hesitate to speak your mind. A common phrase I hear often is, “Well, they won’t listen [agree] to me anyway, so what’s the point of saying anything?” Staying silent on sensitive topics for too long wears you down mentally and emotionally. If you are reading this because you are ready to learn to gracefully speak your mind, here are a few tips:
What’s holding you back?
- Identify the types of people and topics you avoid.
- Identify the types of people and topics you don’t avoid.
- List the reasons why you avoid some speaking situations and not others.
Do you expect to be validated or liked?
- There will always be people who disagree with you.
- It’s ok if you lose likes because you think differently.
- Being unlikeable helps to break the cycle of staying silent.
Are you conflict aversive?
- Conflict and chaos are part of life that evoke change.
- Purposefully entering situations where there will be agreement and disagreement sets you up for the ultimate challenge to be present with anything that goes on.
Are you willing to role-play?
- The best practice partners are those who are antagonists, devils-advocates, or actors. They are experts at being disagreeable with everything.
- Role-playing is a productive opportunity to learn to manage your language, emotions, and reactivity.
- Be aware of the types of people who never take a stance on issues. You must use the techniques suggested below to reach an endpoint to the discussion.
Is it crucial to reach a resolution? If so, using lead-in phrases allows you to unabashedly speak your mind and get to the point.
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- “This is my opinion.”
- “This is my viewpoint.”
- “My perception of this incident, topic, or situation is …”
Can there be more than one truth? Yes!
- A great debate happens when everyone listens and discusses each others’ perspectives, accepts their differences in opinions, and hopefully (or eventually) resolves the disagreement.
Managing your emotions during a disagreement stems from learning how to speak your mind. While speaking your mind may feel uncomfortable, it’s necessary for boundary setting, self-confidence, and positive esteem.
If you are experiencing the pain of staying silent on an important issue, please reach out for a consult on ways to gracefully speak your mind so people will listen. Schedule a consult today www.calendly.com/laurabresee
